Australians really can be extraordinarily wet at times. In perfect conditions, their extreme competitiveness and teak-toughness will outfaze any side in the world. But ask them to ply their trade in conditions that verge on the uncomfortable, and they whinge with more indignation than the most hard-done-by Pom could ever muster. Their latest squealings, about the prospect of playing a Test series within 1000 miles of Baghdad, follow a long-established trend. In 1996, Australia forfeited a World Cup group match in Colombo because of the supposed threat of civil war. Earlier this year they were all too keen to abandon their tour to Zimbabwe, a vital source of income for the cash-strapped ZCU. And it's not just their cricketers who've caught the bug. In 2001 Australia's Rugby League squad invited ridicule by refusing to fly to England in the aftermath of September 11. They may be able to wrestle crocodiles and out-stare funnel-web spiders, but ever since Gallipoli, Australia have had an ingrained inability to put themselves out for another's cause. They are the best side in the world, and they owe it to the game of cricket to stop wriggling and provide Pakistan with a long-overdue series. They really should get over themselves. Andrew Miller

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