Close Australia 126 for 2 (Ponting 43*, Martyn 20*) trail England 185 (Key 47, Lee 3-78) by 59 runs
Scorecard

This was, without doubt, the nadir of England's tour. On a Perth pitch as rock-hard as expected, their resistance was as flimsy as a damp tissue. First they were skittled for 185 after winning an important toss, and then Australia rampaged to 126 for 2 off just 23 overs at the close. The best first-day crowd in WACA Test history included a large English contingent, but even the gallows humour was stretched by the end.

England's batsmen were utterly inept, with only Robert Key, who made a defiant and mature 47, exempt from criticism. For Australia, Glenn McGrath (2 for 30) was as meticulous as ever and Brett Lee, on his return to the side, left a blazing flash of burnt rubber in two high-octane spells, but they were helped on their way with some wretched shot-selection. Lee finished with 3 for 78 in 20 vibrant, violent overs.

A damning indictment of a casual English batting performance was that all ten partnerships reached double figures, and yet only one passed 22. Each time they got a hint of a start, and each time they got out trying to run before they could walk.

The one partnership of note was 47 for the first wicket. Trescothick was the dominant figure, riding his luck to make 34 before nibbling at Lee's tenth ball, his feet again static, and edging behind (47 for 1). Six overs later, calamity struck. Michael Vaughan sent Mark Butcher back, and Steve Waugh in the covers hit the stumps unerringly on the half-volley (69 for 2). Butcher made 9, and this was his fifth run-out in Tests. Among Englishmen, only Geoff Boycott has suffered more.

Nasser Hussain tried to take Lee on at his own game in a brief and scatter-brained innings of 8, which came to an unsavoury end when he was caught behind hooking recklessly (81 for 3). Next to go was Vaughan, who played watchfully for 34 before losing the plot shortly after lunch. Trying to show his bete noire Glenn McGrath who was boss, Vaughan pulled from well outside off stump and edged through to Adam Gilchrist (101 for 4). McGrath gently clenched his fist having won the latest round in their duel, and England's tail was one wicket away from exposure.

That wicket came in almost identical fashion eight overs later when Stewart under-edged a pull at McGrath and was splendidly taken by Gilchrist, low and one-handed to his left (111 for 5). Then Craig White, on 2, drove extravagantly at Lee and edged to third slip (121 for 6). White now has 71 runs in 11 innings against Australia, and his selection as an allrounder is a bad joke that has long since ceased to amuse anyone.

White might have learnt from Key, who showed excellent judgment of what to leave and thumped a couple of emphatic boundaries - one four, one six - back over Shane Warne's head in making the highest score of his fledgling Test career. But two balls after Key bashed that six, Alex Tudor edged the first ball he received from Warne to Damien Martyn at slip and was gone for 0. It was a textbook legspinner's dismissal, but the textbook was something nobody would wish to associate with England's desperate display.

The last over before tea summed up the day and the series. Waugh whistled up Martyn for his first bowl of the series, and Key obligingly dragged his fifth ball back onto the stumps. It should have been a fairy story, yet it hardly came as a surprise. Key swished his bat furiously, but he had played extremely well. Both he and Richard Dawson, who again got impressively into line while Jason Gillespie wrapped up the innings, suggested they might just be made of the right stuff.

Chris Silverwood, who along with Tudor was bizarrely given the new ball ahead of Steve Harmison, then made the early breakthrough England wanted - from long leg, with a superb throw that Stewart collected with Justin Langer well short of the crease (31 for 1). But, before Silverwood could reflect on his handiwork, he had limped out of the attack, and was to be found lying in the pavilion with an icepack on his ankle.

Langer had raced to a run-a-ball 19, but the wicket did nothing to change another pallid display with the new ball. The first 12 overs disappeared for a staggering 82 runs before Matthew Hayden obligingly pulled a Harmison bouncer straight down fine leg's throat (85 for 2), but, with Ricky Ponting swatting the short balls like blowflies on the Swannee, there was no chance of Australia removing their foot from England's throat.

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Rob Smyth is assistant editor of Wisden.com.

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