AUSTRALIA 5 ENGLAND 0 - AUSSIES' FALLING FOWL

Amid only the second Test of this Ashes series, 5-0 is a scoreline Australians should be truly ashamed of.

So far in this Test match, Australia have had five of their supporters - to the Barmy Army's knowledge - forcibly removed from the Adelaide Oval.

Prize of despise them, te Barmy Army just don't support cricket in this fashion.

Intelligent wit, humour and irony are the staples of English behaviour, instead of mindless thuggery.

It is true that the England supporters are passionate about the game and the team they are following. But passion never - and I can use the definitive "never" with confidence after three tours with the boys - turns into physical abuse.

Just take a look at the interview on this site with Senior Constable Samantha Ellis of the Brisbane Police. In it she admits to being awestruck by the friendly behaviour of the England fans, even though their team was stuffed in the cricket.

Another interview on barmy-army.com, with pub landlord Michael Craig, of the Barmy Army's post-match watering hole, the Gabba Hotel, shows that he was not in the least concerned by the likelihood of any trouble amongst the England fans. Indeed, the only trouble he saw was between two sober Aussies.

But some Australians, usually with a couple too many shandies inside them, would seem to be willing to pick a fight with an archbishop on a peace mission from the UN.

Five of their fans were thrown out of the ground, compared to none of ours.

They tried to pick fights with Barmies, but the Army soldiers involved, although bolstered by a beer or three, were sensible enough to let it go and leave their aggressors to their childish games.

Good on you lads. It's exactly what we expect of you.

Many fans just couldn't understand some aspects of the Adelaide support.

Although mildly humourous, some incidents involving the Aussies could have turned serious.

Martin Jenkins - no relation! - of Kent was hit by a flying chicken today.

But chickens don't fly much, Martin!

"They do when they are stuffed and thrown by an Aussie!"

At least it wasn't frozen.

"Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something falling towards me and then Bam! I was hit on the shoulder by a stuffed chicken. I'm not sure of the flavour of the stuffing, though," says Martin.

Another alarming trend among the Aussies is the treatment of the local totty.

Ever the gentlemen, the Barmy Boys like to show their appreciation of beauty by standing up and applauding politely.

The Adelaidians, on the other hand, prefer to throw plastic cups, bottles and possibly cooked birds at the girls as they walk by.

This just doesn't make any sense.

It may be time that the Aussie cricket fans take a leaf out of the world's best behaved army's book and behave with some homour and wit.

They may be on their way to a Test series win, but they have already lost the behaviour cup by a massive margin.

© Barmy Army