Daily Mail, Saturday, October 26, 2002

WOOLDRIDGE

Charmy Army? Sorry, no Way

It has been reported that several thousand of England's Barmy Army cricket followers are about to depart for Australia to support England in the imminent Ashes Test series.

Pray God this isn't true. Ten would be too many.

They are not bad people. They don't set fire to pavilions or cars, they don't wreck bars or violate the local womenfolk. They don't indulge in racist chants.

What they are is excruciatingly boring. Towards the end of most days, when the drink has taken hold, they launch into repetitive dirges of such uninspired monotony that the Australian spectators around them look pitifully upon them and decide to vote Republican at the next referendum.

They are hugely mistaken if they believe they have added any joie de vivre to a Test match. They are courteously tolerated by Australians who regard them as a bunch of berks.

© Barmy Army