Wellington Test, Day 4
Sunday, March 24, 2002

We needed a day like today, to be honest. We needed to get the last 24 hours out of our system, and as professional sportsmen, the best place for us to do that was on the cricket field. Yesterday was an unbelievably difficult day for all of us - today was not a lot better - but from a purely cricketing point of view, things went about as well as they have ever gone for me as captain. We bowled well, we fielded well, we batted well, and we've given ourselves an outside chance to win the match. I can't ask for more.

It may look terrible to be able to rationalise at a time like this, but at no stage have we been putting Ben out of our minds - far from it. Ben has been with us in everything we've done, ever since the news broke, and it has been a devastating time for all of us. None of us have much wanted to talk about him - it is only three weeks since he was out here laughing and joking with us. But today, all the guys showed immense character from the moment they arrived at the ground - and it was good to have the chance to do what we do best.

I know that yesterday I was quoted as saying that cricket is irrelevant at a time like this, but that wasn't quite what I meant. What I was trying to emphasise was the difference between Ben Hollioake the England cricketer, and Ben Hollioake the human being, our friend and team-mate. Cricket is never irrelevant to me - but sometimes it does take a back seat.

We've all been through so many emotions since yesterday lunchtime that it is impossible to capture our feelings in one gesture. The minute's silence before play, for example - it meant a lot to us, but at the same time it really meant nothing at all. We couldn't put everything that Ben meant to us into one minute. He's been with us every minute, good or bad, ever since the accident.

But tomorrow will be an important day - we've got 105 overs in which to make something happen. Gilo [Ashley Giles] should get something from the pitch, though there's not a lot of help for the seamers - a bit of reverse-swing maybe - and the light tends to go by 5.45pm. So if New Zealand are making a fist of a run-chase, then they'll bat on, otherwise it's probably a draw.

We did everything we could today, and it was a good moment when I took that catch. Getting rid of Nathan Astle, after the way he smacked us around Christchurch, was very important to our chances, but it was a bonus to take one low to my left, as I'm not usually very good down there. Duncan [Fletcher] hits them to me all the time in practice and I end up shelling nine out of every 12.

Aside from the cricket, we have to carry on as best we can - try to get it all out of our system. It's not something we can do in a matter of days, weeks, months. And to be honest, I'm not sure we ever will.

Nasser Hussain was talking to Andrew Miller. His thoughts will appear on Wisden.com, other duties permitting, at the end of each day of the Test series.

More Nasser Hussain
Tomorrow morning will be vital
What a game that was

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