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New Zealand vs England, First Test - Christchurch Andy Clark - 17 March 2002
What a fascinating Test match. I got to the match a little late on the first day, having been touring Christchurch getting quotes for the printing of the Corridor of Uncertainty, the official unofficial England cricket fanzine. When I arrived at Lancaster Park (now titled Jade Stadium) twenty minutes after play began England were already two wickets down. Oh dear. However a stylish, but short innings by Michael Vaughan and a workmanlike century from Nasser soon had the Barmy Army singing in the DB Draught Stand, vocal chords being lubricated by beer of the same name. The huge stadium which also hosts rugby union is surely in danger of losing its Test status as hardly any Christchurch reidents bother to turn up. This was good for the Barmy army, as the vast mostly empty stands echoed back the singing. It sounded impressive. Several dodgy umpiring decisions had the Barmy Army incensed, but good humour prevailed in true British fashion and the innings petered out with England making 228. What can I say about the New Zealand first innings arpart from "Who let the Hogs out? Woof, woof, woof-woof"? Matthew Hoggard is an absolute star. This lad will bowl and bowl and bowl. And bowl, which means Nasser can put him on for long spells. He gets movement in the air and off the pitch at a good pace. Even when things are against him, he keeps running in and never lets his head drop. The Barmy Army are in love with him and he enjoys a good rapport with them, his monkey impressions while fielding on the boundary being a particular favourite. He destroyed the Black Caps almost single handedly taking seven wickets for 63 runs in 21.2 overs. New Zealand having made only 147, it was now up to England to capitalise on their first innings lead. And capitalise they did. At 85 for four, England looked shaky. Fortunately the dynamic duo were at the crease. Thorpe and Flintoff that is, not Batman and Robin. Obviously. Flintoff was thumping the ball to all parts and also defending the good balls properly which was good to see. His 137 off 163 balls was a joy to behold. The Kiwi bowlers came in for some ribbing from the Army. "We love you Butler, we do...." as well as 'On the Buses' references rang out around the ground as the hapless Butler, having taken three early wickets, started to look like your average pub team bowler and went for 137 in 23 overs. Vettori also had a song to listen to as he ran in to bowl:
"Daniel Vettori, Daniel Vettori, Harry Potter in disguise, Thorpe seemed to feed off Flintoff's positive approach and scored a magnificent 200 off 231 balls, being ably supported by Foster after Flintoff departed. The Barmy Army were in raptures. England declared on 468 for eight once Thorpe had reached the double ton. Engalnd had a real chance of victory with New Zealand needing a daunting 550 for victory with just over two days remaining. England took a wicket before close of play and The Holy Grail Sports Bar was packed that night with the Barmy Army drunk with excitment about the impending England victory. Oh, and beer, they were drunk on that too. And alcopops. Day four saw an expectant mainly English crowd gather under a mostly blue sky. There was a slight element of worry though. The pitch seemed to have flattened out since the first two days and, lets face it, England have messed up from similar positions before. Wickets fell fairly regularly and all looked rosy in the English garden. No one, however had accounted for Nathan Astle. His hitting was as clean and powerful as has ever been witnessed. Lancaster park is a big ground yet one six down the ground cleared the roof of the stand. This was awesome stuff. Thorpe and Flintoff had put in some big hits earlier in the game, but theirs looked somewhat tame compared to Astle's. There were 400 NZ dollars on offer for the first person in the crowd on each day to catch a six. No one did. Tracer bullets, they were, high velocity tracer bullets. New Zealand were nine down, but as Astle cruised past 200 with consumate ease, the Barmy Army lost their voice a little. Nerves crept in. With a solid looking Chris Cairns at the other end and Astle in this kind of form a New Zealand victory was a real possibility. Caddick had been the main threat in this innings, taking six wickets, but it was Hoggard, taking his match total to eight, who had Astle caught behind for 222. A sigh of relief could be heard among the euphoria of victory. England had done it. The Barmy Army had been in good voice throughout the match and the players showed their appreciation by coming over to give a round of applause at the end of the game. Great fun was had throughout this Test match, but there are unpleasant football-style elements creeping into the songs and chants. We all love England cricket and singing in the stands has become an integral part of overseas tours, but does this mean that we have to dish out yobbish and crude personal abuse to certain players? No. It does not. The Barmy have made a lot of friends in their short stay in New Zealand, let's not spoil it by becoming loutish and getting a bad name. People all around the world love the Barmy Army. Let's keep it that way. So, on to the North Island for the second Test. Wellington is a cracking city with a great vibe and The Basin Reserve a picturesque little ground. There should be a great atmosphere. Here's to an England victory. Cheers!
Written by Andy Clark © England's Barmy Army
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