Melbourne - VB Series, Match 10
Tuesday, January 29, 2002

The MCG would bring a meatball to life. It is cricket in 3D; watch here and television is revealed for the fraud it is. The Australians are more bananas in their pyjamas, the grass is more green, the ball has more bounce, the advertising more clout and the umpires more oomph.

And from the fourth tier up, the game becomes solitaire, the cricketers mere playthings for the crowd's entertainment – here the people are king. Even the (once) invincible Australians are less the clawing predators they were in England last season, more small counters to be moved about the circle at whim.

This is a stadium where Michael Bevan's muscles don't bulge unbelievably. Glenn McGrath goes for overthrows but any histrionics look rather pitiful. Ricky Ponting gets booed for a misfield. Steve Waugh isn't forgiven a loose ball even though he hasn't bowled in a one-dayer since last April. Even Victoria's own Shane Warne is mortal. Though the crowd were shouting his name from almost the start of play, his first over went for 19. How miserable he looked as Stephen Fleming and Craig McMillan stood and slogged, and soon the jibes were crackling into the mobile phones with as much relish as at Edgbaston.

What an effect that one over had. At the end of the next, Warne walked straight to the other end of the pitch with his cap pulled low, looking straight ahead, as Steve Waugh first patted him on the arm and then tossed the ball to Ian Harvey. Who immediately bowled a dot ball. No compassion, these Australians.

To make matters worse, Harvey dismissed McMillan with his third ball. Warne, who had his hands on his hips, despite being reassured by a pat from Ricky Ponting, was one of the first to congratulate him.

But even after that exhibition of mateship, it wasn't really his day. In his comeback over - some time later - his first two balls were wides; Steve Waugh, hands in pockets, didn't look impressed. Then there was a leg-bye. But his team-mates know what this stadium can do. And when he and Steve Waugh combined for a run-out, it was Warne who got the first reassuring backslaps. Which, after 10-0-56-1, he will remember gratefully.

Tanya Aldred is assistant editor of Wisden.com.

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