by Diana Ching
Thursday, February 14, 2002

As England's cricketers get into gear in New Zealand, it's a fair bet that remembering Valentine's Day has been fairly low down on their list of priorities. Of course, red roses by the dozen might just be winging their way to cricketers' wives across the land, but the reality is likely to be somewhat different. And if the lads need an excuse, they have a ready-made one: mental preparation is vital for an international sportsman, you see, and they must be single-minded in their dedication.

Well, yes. Single-mindedness is essential and it's a male trait, anyway, which is one reason men are often better competitors than women. In a domestic environment, it can mean a clash of the sexes, as women don't understand why men can only do one thing at a time. And in turn, men often fail to recognise the importance of little gestures such as remembering Valentine's Day.

Lord Byron had it spot-on when he wrote "Man's love is of man's life a thing apart; `tis woman's whole existence." But love is a central drama in men's lives, if they did but realise it, and there's an important message here for sportsmen. Ignoring the significance of a simple romantic ritual, such as sending flowers to the woman in your life at least once a year, might stop you playing a blinder on the field.

Highly trained, disciplined and motivated though they are, professional sportsmen are, first and foremost, people with human emotions and responses. And a cricketer's performance on the field may very well depend on his emotional state off it.

Look at Graham Thorpe in India at the end of last year - he was so distracted because of his marriage problems that he abandoned the tour to fly home. Dominic Cork suffered a similar fallout when his first marriage was crumbling. Even Australia's Michael Slater found it tough to combine batting for his country and battling with marriage difficulties.

Compare these scenarios with happier ones. When Cork found love again, he regained his form and his place in the team. That comeback culminated in his finest moment and the famous three-fingered salute to his then-fiancée at Lord's - a rare public gesture of love by a cricketer.

Alec Stewart, once asked after an awards ceremony what he would do with all the crystal vases he was amassing, said promptly, "Buy my wife more flowers to put in them". Aaah. And, going back a bit further, Jack Hobbs is quoted as attributing his success simply to "Mrs Hobbs".

It might not be macho to say that love is important, but these guys have found that success is a by-product of it, epitomising what poets have said through the ages. When Virgil wrote "Love conquers all things" he probably didn't have winning a Test match in mind - although you never know. But the theory was certainly proved by Cork and others.

So, the message seems to be clear: keep love alive and you keep sporting prowess alive, too. A bunch of flowers can do far more than just help a relationship. Contentment off the field leads to a more focused performance on it.

So let's hope the boys in New Zealand have found a moment to remember Valentine's Day this week. If they take a break from playing computer games on their laptops, they could easily find that a bouquet of flowers can be sent at the click of a mouse. Even if they've left that too late, they could salvage the situation by checking out the host of e-cards for every occasion which can be sent and received instantaneously. Let's hope they do, for it seems as if it's definitely the thought that counts - in more ways than one.

Diana Ching is a freelance writer and a keen Hampshire fan.

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