Only two weeks of the Crusade left and it promises to be very tense as we push for one of the three promotional spots that are for grabs.

Twenty-one points cover the top four teams so there is still plenty of room for some last minute shuffling.

While I can look positively towards the finale of our four-day cricket, the same cannot be said about our one-day performances this year.

This week has seen us lose heavily to Essex and Sussex which leaves us with only two wins from 14 games.

We have, to be fair, had a few games washed out but our position, second from the bottom, is very disappointing.

From my point of view it has been an incredibly frustrating experience with my scores reflecting my troubles.

I have struggled on most occasions to adjust to the conditions, an example of this was against Essex when I was caught at slip looking to hit the ball through square leg. The pitches we have played on throughout this season have been diabolical!

If we are not playing on old used wickets then we find ourselves on local club grounds that have been given an opportunity to host a one-day match.

This is the problem that Middlesex faces as Lord's is not always available due to finals or other occasions such as Test matches.

Testament to this is that I have had only one bat at Lord's in my coloured clothing. The rest of our home games have been scattered around the greater London area, similar to Sydenham Park in Christchurch for those of you who have played there.

The frustration comes from wanting to play a brand of cricket that is attractive to watch and spectators can see some genuine entertainment.

Instead we are forced to continually scrape and scratch on low, slow seaming wickets inching our way to scores between 100 and 150. I hear the argument that players should be good enough to adjust and I agree which adds to my frustration. But there is a bigger issue and that is competition.

With many an activity now on offer during the weekends, players and officials must realise we are competing for the entertainment dollar. Bringing a family along to watch a game where a good score is below 150 with only a handful of boundaries does not make a good day out!

We now have nothing to play for in this competition apart from the ole favourite of pride. The club needs to look now towards next year and I will be promoting the use of younger players into the side to gain precious experience.

I, on the other hand, will be putting all my time into finishing the season on a positive note and then joining the New Zealand boys in Pakistan.

This week, between games for Middlesex, I made my way up the M1 to Sheffield to play a benefit game for Darren Gough. It was an International XI versus an English XI made up mostly of Darren's Yorkshire team mates. The International side had a nice blend - Viv Richards (captain), Mathew Sinclair, Fleming (New Zealand), Stuart Law, Greg Blewett, Ian Harvey (Australia), Franklyn Rose, Junior Murray, Phil Simmons, Ricardo Powell (West Indies) and Paul Strang (Zimbabwe). Rain ruined what could have been a big earner for Goughy but, we still managed 30 overs-a-side that attracted around 5000 Yorkshiremen to the ground.

For the record we scored a healthy 316 only to be pipped in the last over by a Darren Gough six that left him 63 not out. I hope the Anti-Corruption Unit weren't watching!

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