Tuesday, September 18, 2001
There are some things in life that are so dull, they exert a kind of grim fascination. Traffic patterns ... Formula One races ... certain internet chat-rooms ... speeches by George W Bush ... and Jacques Kallis's batting average.

The most gripping thing going on in Bulawayo today (these things are relative) was Kallis's attempt to go through an entire Test series without being dismissed. In Harare he had made 157 not out and 43 not out, making a neat tally of 200. In Bulawayo yesterday and today, he cruised, sorry trudged, no make that inched, to an unbeaten 189.

The pitch was slow, but not half as slow as Kallis. Herschelle Gibbs, in the course of his 74, hit roughly one ball in every nine to the boundary - 12 fours and two sixes in 127 balls. Kallis, a better, more established player, managed only 19 fours and three sixes in 443 deliveries. That's a boundary every 20 balls. It was even more tedious than his bowling used to be when Hansie Cronje was employing him to bore batsmen out by aiming at first slip.

At the start of this brief series in Zimbabwe, Kallis's career average from 50 Tests was exactly 41. He had been out 72 times, so with every 72 undefeated runs he made, it went up by one. By the declaration today, he had made 389 in the series, and had Jacques-ed up that career average to 46.40. Much more impressive - on the surface.

Eventually Shaun Pollock decided that more than enough was enough. The fact that he didn't let Kallis get to 200 may have betrayed a faint irritation (you can but hope). Shortly before that, Kallis had passed Nasser Hussain's record of 1032 minutes between dismissals. Next month, he has power to add. Indian viewers have been warned.

All day, there was a perverse pleasure to be had from clicking to Kallis's player page, and watching the career average notch up. The page also reveals that his middle name is Henry. From now on, make that General Anaesthetic.

Tim de Lisle is editor of Wisden.com.

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