Some things don't change. At Lord's at 11 o'clock this morning, the rain was sheeting down just like it does in mid-season. But some things do change, and the International Cricket Council was trying to convince us that it is now one of them. In a high-gloss, jargon-packed, multimedia presentation which must have cost at least £50,000, ICC unveiled a new image and a whole heap of promises, initiatives and good intentions. After years of being faceless, toothless and quite often useless, the game's governing body put its top two officials in front of the cameras and promised transparency, accountability, relevance, innovation, globalism, strength, decisiveness, effectiveness, inclusiveness, vision, a "major culture shift" and "high impact".

In one breath, it resolved to be innovative, strategic, relevant and commercial; in the next it said it would protect and promote its traditions and history. It pledged to stamp out corruption within a year, to stop sledging altogether, and to get "more" batsmen walking before being given out. By the time lunch was served in the Long Room, it was hard to think of anything ICC hadn't undertaken to deliver, apart from world peace.

To get a top job at ICC these days, you have to be Australian, grey-haired, dark-suited and named Malcolm. The president is Malcolm Gray, the new chief executive Malcolm Speed. "Malcolm will now reveal a little more about our plans," said Malcolm One. "Thank you, Malcolm," said Malcolm Two. In the audience was Ted Dexter, who once introduced Devon Malcolm as Malcolm Devon. Wisely, they kept him away from the podium.

ICC's vision comes under the bland title of "ICC - now and for the future", but it quickly emerged that it is far from anodyne. Malcolm Gray, making the first speech, said the pace of change in the game "must now accelerate" and outlined four broad goals for ICC:
• be transparent and accountable
• be innovative, strategic, relevant and commercial
• defend and promote its traditions and history, enshrined in the spirit of cricket (this, somewhat alarmingly, was placed in quotemarks)
• pursue a global approach.

Malcolm Speed said that international sports now demanded "strength and decisiveness" from their leaders. In a world dominated by strong brands, ICC had the potential to "develop into a significant sporting brand in its own right".

It had devised "a bold strategic plan", covering the next four years, which contained "objectives, strategies and milestones". If adopted by the board at their meeting in Malaysia at the end of the month - a big if, on past form - the strategic plan would be made public and would become "the document against which ICC can be measured".

Speed went on to announce a further stack of new measures:
• a "radical overhaul" of umpiring and refereeing, with elite, full-time panels of eight umpires and five referees, who will officiate at all games from next April; they will never stand in matches involving their own country

• more staff - ICC has a payroll of 25, while comparable bodies, Speed said, have 100 or even 500

• no limit on the punishments handed out by referees - bans can be more than three Tests or six one-day internationals, fines can be more than 75% of match fee, and suspended sentences ("a soft option ... used far too often in the past") are history

• working with international captains to ensure they live up to their responsibility for maintaining the spirit of fair play

• in due course, an ICC One-Day Championship to go with the Test Championship

• not merely implementing Lord Condon's recommendations on corruption but "in several cases" going further. So far, corruption had only been suppressed, but ICC aimed to eliminate it "within 12 months".

Finally, the walls behind Speed rotated to reveal the new ICC logo, devised by (strewth, mate) an Australian consultancy - the same one that brought us the flaming cauldron at the Sydney Olympics. The logo is a blue-green world made to look like a cricket ball, with white stripes to denote the seam. Everyone studied it for a while, and few noticed that the white stripes also spelt ICC. When this was eventually pointed out, everyone came out with another another acronym: "OIC".

As we headed off to lunch, a symbolic figure could be spotted through the glass walls of the England and Wales Cricket Board office, running on the spot. At least some governing bodies can be relied upon to go nowhere fast.

Tim de Lisle is editor of Wisden.com.

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