Which Indian cricketer has a shaved head, gold earrings, herpes, crosses himself when he gets a hundred, and has a leading role as a mechanic in the upcoming Indian blockbuster Disaster? If England didn't know the answer before today, they do now. Vinod Kambli tore England's bowling apart in the baking, sweaty sunshine of Mumbai. He treated them with the disdain of a Frenchman presented with processed cheese as he hooked, sliced and drove his way to a scintillating 109, of which 76 came in boundaries. Matthew Hoggard, James Ormond and Craig White - who will almost certainly lead the England attack in the first Test at Mohali – turned into county trundlers as Mumbai looked on.

But what will worry England even more is that this is a man who can't even get into the Indian team, despite a Test average of 54. "Hopefully this will give me confidence," Kambli said after his innings for the Mumbai Cricket Association President's XI at the Wankhede Stadium. "I'm looking forward to a Test comeback. I'd love to play a lot of Test matches because I've played only 17 and I don't know why I'm not there."

Inconsistency, inconsistency, inconsistency, his critics would say.

Kambli went to the same school as Sachin Tendulkar, Sharadashram Vidyamandir, where they once put on 664 together, and they shared the same coach. As a boy, he was thought to have the greater talent, and went on to score a Test double-century before Tendulkar did. But, though Kambli averaged 94 in his first ten Tests, he managed only 15 in his next seven. He was dropped in 1995-96 and has been shunned ever since.

Not that that has stopped him becoming the favourite of the Mumbai crowd, who fancy he might get a run or two if he were selected again, and who cheered his century today - just whisper it - almost as if he were Sachin himself.

When he reached his hundred, Kambli leapt into the air in celebration. "Whatever I do I always enjoy myself. That's what I did today as well. This was my first match of the season, and I wasn't ready to play because I'm not well … [but] I said it is against England, I have to play."

Kambli certainly has a penchant for England's bowlers. This century was nothing compared to his 224 against them in the third Test at Bombay on the last tour in 1992-93. Nasser Hussain will go to sleep tonight hoping that he's seen the back of Kambli on this tour, or England could be stuck in a Disaster movie of their own.

Tanya Aldred, our assistant editor, is covering the whole England tour of India for Wisden.com.

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