by Tanya Aldred
Thursday, November 1, 2001

So Andy Caddick and Robert Croft are officially cowards. Yellow-bellied turncoats. "Professional whingers," according to The Times. By not touring they are betraying their country, their team-mates and their consciences. Even worse, they are staying nice and snug at home because women have told them to.

Caddick had the chance this winter, in the absence of Darren Gough, to become England's No. 1 bowler. But his wife had the cheek to have a child so he has stayed at home. Robert Croft, in the absence of any English spinners, had the chance to velcro himself into the team. But his young family were going to be worried sick by his absence, so he decided to put them first.

What Caddick and Croft are really showing is courage. The courage to stand firm against the machismo culture of sport, which traditionally gives no quarter to family life, or emotions. They knew they would be ridiculed, knew they would be laughed at, knew that they were putting their careers on the line, but they still chose to put their families first.

Of course, you can argue, going to India is their job. Just like soldiers in Afghanistan, journalists in Peshawar and the 14 other players on the plane to Mumbai. But the decision to tour is a deeply personal one. Sleepless nights, post-natal depression, the stresses of bringing up a young family - everyone reacts differently. To do it alone, as any single mother, or father, can tell you, is a massive strain. To do it alone while your partner makes a six-week trip involving a large amount of flying is bound to make that strain even greater, and only the players and their families can judge whether it is too much.

You might argue that a cricketer's wife knew what she had coming when she married. But no-one can really predict how they will feel when they have a family. Most women say that the feeling overwhelms them, like nothing they have ever experienced. Most men, if they are allowed to, would agree.

Tony Blair, for example, decided the country could do without him while he spent time with baby Leo and his wife Cherie. Steve Redgrave decided his career couldn't do without him for most of his 16-year gold-winning Olympic spree. And, as his wife has admitted, it nearly cost him his marriage. Nasser Hussain, a father himself, has stood by Caddick and Croft: `I fully respect both Andy's and Robert's decisions.'

Security in India isn't really the question. Maybe Croft and Caddick just felt that there was something more important than their careers - the rest of their lives.

Tanya Aldred is assistant editor of Wisden.com. The Women's Page appears every Thursday.

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