Was Parore bowled or run out?
Roy Colbert - 5 March 2001

(Two cricket fanatics with their views on the game from their Dunedin sofa).

"Mate, I don't understand what they're doing to chuckers any more."

"Shoaib Akhtar?"

"Mate, I'm not saying he's a chucker, I'll leave that up to the techno boffins in the laboratories. All I'm saying is in my day, the umpire at square leg called a bowler for throwing and they threw his sorry ass out of the game. Now nobody calls no-ball any more, the umpire secretly stores up his thoughts, then writes them down in a report at the end of the game and the bowler is accused of throwing - but he can still play while he is under investigation. Call me old-fashioned, but that doesn't make a lot of sense."

"Precisely. Think of poor old Parore, who was skittled first ball by Shoaib at Carisbrook. Parore rang me after the game on this. 'Sofa' he said to me 'I've been made to look a fool. Everyone is saying I shouldered arms and was bowled, but I was actually run out.' And he's right - some people ..."

"Ignorant people."

"... ignorant people as you say, some people would have thought he DID shoulder arms and was bowled. But he was taking guard outside his crease, as they all do against Shoaib, and Shoaib saw that and hurled the stumps down. It was actually very good cricket."

"And probably the only decent piece of fielding Pakistan came up with all series. Do you realise they gave us 147 extras over the five games?"

"I do realise that, yes. It reflects on the generous nature of the Pakistanis, begun many years ago of course by Miandad, the current manager, who offered his bottom to Dennis Lillee so Lillee could see whether his aluminium bat had any future as a weapon."

"But what a great game, mate, and confirmation, if it was ever needed, that Carisbrook is the finest cricket ground in the world."

"Absolutely. A magnificent pitch, a tremendous visual sight with the warm clear Dunedin night sky beaming down on the fires on the terraces, students chanting like crazy people, and Astle and Fleming batting like Hobbs and Sutcliffe - I could barely see the closing stages, I had tears in my eyes."

"Those Pakistani bowlers were swinging the ball five metres at the end, mate, it wasn't easy."

"I think this series win validates our support for the CLEAR Black Caps, mate, a support we have maintained despite severe criticism from other sections of the media, throughout the summer."

"Which is probably why Flem rang us immediately after the presentation, inviting us to celebrate long and hard with the boys."

"An invitation which we naturally refused. 'Flem' I said to Flem 'Flem, this is your time, you don't want us there monopolising the remote.'"

"The Black Caps celebrate on sofas in front of television?"

"They do, mate, it's a little-known fact. And I don't think we should let this one go beyond these four walls."

"Okay. A final word on the Shell Trophy, mate. Congratulations to Wellington and their Otago coach Vaughn Johnson?"

"Absolutely. Generous of us to sack Johnson and send him north."

"Very Pakistani of us, you might say."

"Clearly though, Otago was the most respected team. Wellington set us 488 off 120 and Central set us 435 off 112. No team in the world could have got totals like that. And call me old-fashioned, but as a purist, I would rather be the most respected team than the most successful."

"Absolutely."

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