Tales from a curious Test

Those two gentlemen of letters who penned their satrical stories to entertain and enthrall children of a 100 years ago or more would have, with tongue firmly in cheek, lampooned the episodes which made up the farce surrounding the Wanderers event.

Barrie's tales of Peter Pan might cause an amused smirk among some of today's young readers more used to a diet of TV-orientated cops and robbers programmes. But then, his sharp wit and cutting commentry would have ridiculed the Pakistanis and their mugging story: whether or not it was fabricated.

With deft touches Barrie would have found likenesses among the players that would run from Captain Hook to other members of the pirate ship; and if comic relief was one way of expressing disatisfied amusement, he would create new characters to explan their roles.

Carroll would no doubt use Alice as his messenger to get his thoughts across. It was Alice in ``Alice in Wonderland'' who used the phrase ``curiouser and curiouser'' to describe events Mad Hatter's Tea Party. At the Wanderers it was veritable Mad Hatter's tea party.

After all, switching on floodlighting at a cost of R80 000 a throw over three days (R240 000) would not only pay off my house bond: it would buy me a new car as well. But this test at the Wanderers, the eighth since readmission, has been a genuine switch off.

Naturally phobics pointed to the match starting on Friday 13 as the reason for it being ``mugged'' first by the off-field antics of some of the tourists and what really took place, and then the weather on the last two days.

Indeed, the curious thoughts about this first test of a series which seems to be jinxed, does for a variety of reasons suggest the Pakistanis do not travel well in this part of southern Africa. Remember the last time they were here? Match-fixing and bribery allegations flowed faster than runs scored. Some matters are still under investigation three summers later.

What is known is that the Pakistanis have a problem within their ranks. Rashid Latif was not a popular choice as captain and rumours persist over Wasim Akram's views whether or not he should join. While the Pakistan selectors wanted him to join as soon as the match-fixing allegations were ``dismissed by the senate'' he gave them a royal two finger salute along with a polite note to the declining the invitation.

Of course the major farce not so much affects the Pakistanis as the curious decision by the players and umpires to walk on to the field at the Wanderers yesterday at 10.30 am with floodlights blazing and, before a ball is bowled, walk off again because of ``dark patches'' which bothered the South African batsmen.

Some years ago, while in Buxton, Derbyshire, the mist slithered down the hill one afternoon and enveloped the ground as one of the Derbyshire bowlers charged through the light fog at a Northamptonshire tailender. There was no protest about ``dark patches'' or the bowler being lost in the gloom of the afternoon. In that part of England the meaning of ``bad light'' is not so much a swear word as a curiosity.

No doubt the ICC will take a serious view of how the floodlights were found not to help in the game's progress. In Australia the venues where they were used were more enclosed than the Wanderers where there are more open spaces, causing a wider dispersement of lighting.

And when all the light and mugging issues are long forgotten, this test will always be remembered as Symmo's (Pat Symcox's) match and the world record for the 10th wicket of 195. Just another curious episode of a very curious game.

Trevor Chesterfield, Cricket writer, Pretoria News tche@ptn.independent.co.za

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