THE BARMY ARMY ASHES TOUR 2002-03

BACKGROUND ON EACH TEST MATCH VENUE

BRISBANE

Situated on the East Coast on the hugely popular tourist trail which attracts many backpackers to join in with the travelling fans. The ground is the GABBA which is a 10 minute taxi ride from the City Centre and it is also well served by buses for the return journey. Unfortunately they have now dug up the grass bank and the ground is now all seater as it caters for both cricket and Aussie Rules, this is a shame as the grass bank was the meeting place for all the England fans and the venue for the first song contest of the tour. The ground is well served by bars and we are likely to take over the tea bar in 2002/3, a free standing area with a bar that sells XXXX.

Highlights

Lunchtime drinking, go out of the ground and find the GABBA pub, only a 100m walk away. They have topless barmaids which seems popular with the travelling fans ( it gets even better as the tour goes on).

Evening drinking, popular last time was the bar underneath the Palace backpackers, cheap booze, dancing on the tables and a fairly rowdy atmosphere. The Sportsbar in town was also popular, despite the fact that one of the owners is the much hated, cheating Ian Healey.

Beaches, there are no beaches in Brisbane but only a short journey to the Gold and Sunshine Coasts. Downside – tends to be the least well supported venue.

PERTH

Situated on the west coast of Australia, it is the most isolated City in the world. Perth does have a huge ex-pat community which ensures the travelling fans are well supported at The Gabba, which is close to the town centre and can be walked to, although buses and taxis are far quicker. It is a fantastic ground with 2 large grass banks, in 94 under the scoreboard was the place to be but 4 years later we moved to behind the bowlers arm as a tarpaulin covered the scoreboard bank. Swan lager is the local brew here.

Highlights

Lunchtime Drinking -unfortunately the nearest bar is a 10 minute walk away and many prefer to decant to the park at the back of the ground and drink a slab of the local beer from an off licence. The park is stunning with lakes, swans and flowers and well worth a visit.

Evening Drinking – Northbridge is the venue with numerous pubs, clubs and restaurants but the first port of call and the place to meet before the game is the Brass Monkey, a large and hugely popular bar.

Beaches – Cottesloe Beach is a 20 minute train ride away and well worth a visit, although it can be very windy. Take cash as afternoon sessions are commonplace in the local hotel and the term slab riots will be often used.

Lowlights – the WACA is the fastest track in Australia and England have a very poor record here in the last 2 series, losing badly in 3 days. Don't expect a victory here, but console yourself with the thought of slab riots at Cottesloe. The weather is also scorching, 40 + degrees and very dry making the beach a popular option.

ADELAIDE

In South Australia and surely a very non-descript place until we arrive. They are very sour that they lost their Grand Prix to Melbourne in 95 and they still haven't recovered from this. The up side is that the Adelaide Oval is one of the most beautiful cricket grounds in the world with huge grass banks and it is an easy walk from the town centre. Adelaide was the venue for our victory in 94/5 and for that reason alone is likely to temp back supporters from that tour who are unlikely to forget Daffy's last day innings, Chris Lewis showing Mc Dermott the way back to The Pavilion and our impromptu party held at Lord Raglan's attended by most of the players. In 99 we had a hugely successful charity party at The Old Adelaide Gaol in aid of Leukaemia which was attended by about 800 fans.

Highlights

Lunchtime Drinking – The Cathedral , a 5 minute walk from the ground and the venue for some famous drinking sessions. A must at lunchtime and popular after the game.

Evening Drinking – Popular are most of the pubs as you walk back into the town centre for early evening drinks. Hindley Street was the place to be in 95 but it has suffered decline in popularity with the locals since, now the venue for strip clubs, topless bars and clubs, the Barmy Army still frequent the area. Do be slightly more aware about your own security here.

Beaches – Glenelg is the beach to go, a 20 minute tram ride from the City Centre, not the greatest beach in Oz but plenty of pubs and very popular with the travelling fans. Not a bad evening venue either.

Lowlights – Unfortunately the grassbank under The Scoreboard section attracts its fair share of Aussie morons, ZZ lookalike boys from the Country whose idea of entertainment is to throw abuse, cans and occasionally punches at the England fans. Easily spotted and avoided, they are the only minor irritation of a fantastic ground.

MELBOURNE

In Victoria and the place is synonymous with the Boxing Day test when you'll find about 80000 convicts in this massive stadium, home to Aussie rules football. It is very close to the town centre and easily accessible from trams that cross the whole City. The place is also home to Vic Bitter, better known as VB and the Casino is well worth a visit and if you like a bit of culture, the parks are fantastic.

Highlights

Lunchtime Drinking – We are delighted to announce that the Barmy Army has conscripted Richmond Cricket Club, just at the back of the MCG for all of the one dayers and most importantly the Boxing Day test when most of the local boozers are absolutely rammed. Full strength beer and an excellent atnosphere guaranteed, as well as a perfect opportunity to find out what's happening for the rest of the tests and Sydney.

Evening Drinking – Best advice is to convene at Richmond CC and will be able to advise on plans there.

Beach _ St Kilda, a short tram ride from the Centre, not the greatest beach but very accessible.

Lowlights – None in 98 but having to leave The Royal to watch the cricket in 94 was painful as we lost in 3 days.

SYDNEY

The best known City in Oz and a great place to be for the New Year. The ground is The SCG, fairly accessible from anywhere but probably a bus or taxi fare away from the popular backpacker haunts of Coogee and Kings Cross. The local beers are Tooheys and VB and there is so much to see and do here, the obvious touristy places like The Opera House and Bridge but probably of more interest the seedy strip bars and all day drinking clubs and pubs of Kings Cross. Sydney generates fantastic support from England fans, a conservative following would be 5000 plus and we take over the area that used to be The Hill. In 99 we organised a really successful party at Selina's nightclub within the Coogee Bay Hotel in aid of Leukaemia which raised over £4000 and was attended by over 1000 fans, the only downside being to drink the bar dry by midnight. We are currently finalising plans for a massive party on the last night of the test – more information will be posted on the site and at the matches.

Highlights

Lunchtime Drinking – In fact pre-match, lunchtime and post match sessions will be held at The Captain Cook pub, a 5 minute walk from the ground. There are numerous renditions of our full repertoire of songs and it's a great place to meet up. It is also a Nomads hostel, but finding a bed there is difficult to say the least.

Evening Drinking – Don't believe that Bondi is the place to be, the real action takes place down the road at The Coogee Beach Hotel, the largest pub in New South Wales. You can't go far wrong going to The Kings Cross Hotel which offers all day drinking, there are several other popular bars here too including The Bourbon and Beefsteak Bar where Ricky (I can't drink and I can't fight) Ponting got beaten up in 99 by a transvestite he was trying to pull. In town The Sportsbar is well worth a visit and The Scu Bar was very popular last time.

Beaches – You have to look at Bondi, a short train ride from The City, but Coogee, by bus and Manley by ferry are probably less hyped and better that Bondi.

Lowlights – With such huge support, the quality of singing deteriorates with plenty of anti IRA football songs being sung by fans who haven't been to any of the other games and don't appreciate the difference between football and cricket support.