Ralph Dellor selects a new bat
In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of ... Cricket.
It was Alfred, Lord Tennyson who almost wrote those words, but perhaps his grandson,
Lionel Tennyson (Hampshire and England) might have made a better job of it.
It is not only a young man's fancy that is turned at this time of year. The first sign
of the fresh growth and men of all ages start to think of sultry summer days, a flat
pitch, easy bowling and the ball flying off the middle of the bat.
For most of us, it was not like that last year or for many a year before that, but we
like to think that this season it is going to be different. Of course, part of the problem
has always been the equipment we use. We know that old saying about a bad workman blaming his
tools, but if you look at the bat you have been using, there's no wonder that you've been
struggling. Lara or Tendulkar would struggle with that.
You can always tell when the willow has lost its zest. You try to hit the spinner back over
his head for a sailaway six, but instead get caught and bowled. Either the bat has gone off or
there is just an outside chance that you might have lost your timing. If you ever had it. Timing
cannot be purchased at your local sports retailer; a new bat can, so that might be a good place to start.
Similarly with the rest of your kit. The suggestion that in order to play a good innings in August
you need to start preparing in April sounds like one of those jests usually associated with the
first day of the fourth month. But, unless you make sure your kit is in good order before the season
starts, what chance have you got?
There is nothing worse than finding when you get the bag out of the loft that the mice have made a
nest out of the stuffing from your pads and the palms of your gloves have rotted away because you put
them away damp. The dampness was probably caused by putting them away next to wet towel rather than
not allowing them to dry properly after a seriously long, sweaty innings, but the effect is the same.
It is usually at this time that you find there are no spikes in your boots worthy of the name and,
furthermore, you cannot get the old ones out to replace them because they are rusted in, so that will
mean a new pair.
As for the shirt and trousers, you invariably find that they have been victim of that curious
phenomenon unexplained by scientists - cricket bag shrinkage. It is similar to the wardrobe shrinkage
that affects suits that have not been worn for a long time. Some would have you believe that it is
linked to an expanding girth of the wearer, but, I ask you, is that likely to be the case with fit
athletes like us?
So, the answer is to get yourself some new kit. Most of it is straightforward. The protective
equipment should be as good as you can afford, and the clothing should fit and be practicable.
I remember getting changed for a game next to my old headmaster. Richard Sale (Oxford University,
Derbyshire and Warwickshire) looked into his dusty old bag and remarked to me that he had forgotten
his creams. I said that I had some liniment, but he went on about his creams until someone
enlightened me that he meant his cricket trousers rather than something to rub into his limbs. He had
played when cream flannel trousers were all the rage. Very smart they looked, too, until they got dirty
and needed dry cleaning rather than chucking in the washing machine. Perhaps that's why they didn't slide around
in the field as much in those days.
The clothing is all pretty mundane. The real joy comes when selecting the new bat. Unless you are a
professional, a very good player or incredibly wealthy, you probably will only have a limited number of
brand new bats in your life. Choosing it is a moment to cherish and not to be taken lightly. Not like
that young man's fancy that lightly turns to thoughts of love. Purchasing a new bat, though, is a bit
like falling in love.
But how do we choose? Among the less reliable reasons for selecting a new bat are:
i) It is very cheap
ii) It is the same make as Marcus Trescothick used for his last century
iii) The colours on the label match those in the club sweater
Far more important than any of those is the weight and the pick-up. These two things are not
necessarily connected. A light bat might pick up badly, while a heavy one might appear to fly
into the backlift. So how can you tell which is right for you?
A good guide is to pick it up with just your top hand and to play a range of imaginary strokes.
If you cannot manage that, the bat is too heavy for you. It is all very well for someone with forearms
like pistons to wield a blade weighing three pounds, but most of us simply cannot manage anything that heavy.
Of course, to feel the bat and to see how a ball feels as it bounces on the blade, you have to actually
be there at the sale. A good shop will have knowledgeable assistants to help you in your selection. But
the same applies when you buy online or mail order. Be clear with instructions about weight and balance,
and be prepared to change it if it is not right for you.
So now we are very nearly ready to go. The new bat has been knocked in and treated as prescribed by
the manufacturer. The new boots have been eased in so they fit perfectly. The other new kit is
immaculate. Bring on the opposition. Take a word of advice from one who knows. Stop right there. It
cannot get any better than this.
You won't, I know. You will go along to pre-season nets. There's a bumpy pitch and a blinding light.
They won't let you wear your new boots on the artificial run-up. You lean against the roller, only
to find that it was painted earlier that afternoon and you now have green paint daubed across your
backside in a pattern not approved even for the Norwich Union League. Then you notice someone in
the next net using a bat that looks exactly like your new one. It is your new one!
Next morning, you won't be able to get out of bed. It is not a case of deciding which part of your
body it is that aches. Your entire body aches. So does your soul.
I promise that you will get over it, and it is worth it. One day, possibly months from now, there
will be that sultry afternoon when the pitch is flat and the bowlers simply keep hitting the middle of
your bat. It is at that moment that you decide, come next March, that it might be a good idea to get
an even better bat - and the rest. Have a great season.
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