You know the English are getting desperate when they bring Kylie Minogue into an argument about cricket.

That's what Martin Samuel did in The Times today when he argued that England could have a better chance of beating Australia if they looked at other areas where their country was superior.

Displaying the typical English knowledge of Australian culture that starts with Rolf Harris and ends at "Home and Away", Samuel ignored chart-toppers like The Avalanches and The Vines to declare that English pop music was better.

"Believe it or not, there are still some things the English do better than the Australians. Pop music, for instance," he wrote.

"Sure, that Kylie tune from a year back was catchy ... It was No.1 for longer than Darren Gough's been injured.

"Anyway, the point is, who wrote it? Cathy Dennis. As English as they come. All the best stuff is ours. That's why the Aussies spend so much time bragging about sports. Take it away and what else is there?"

Warming to his theme, Samuel cites Men At Work as the other great example of Australian pop and "Aussie Aussie Aussie oi-oi-oi" as Antipodean lyrical genius.

Samuel concedes that Australia has a great team.

But he says English captain Nasser Hussain and his men should be focussing on the Australian weaknesses rather than behaving as if it was an honour simply to be on the same pitch as them.

"Here's the alternative view," he said.

"Justin Langer is a highly ordinary opening batsman carried along by an exceptional partner.

"Darren Lehmann is no great shakes as a middle-order batsman and Andy Bichel, the first-change bowler, took two tailend wickets for plenty on his own Queensland turf.

"As for his possible replacement, Brett Lee, if he's so hot, how come he spent the weekend shaping up for New South Wales against Tasmania?"

© 2002 AAP

This report does not necessarily represent the views of the Australian Cricket Board.