In his latest exclusive diary entry for CricInfo, Alec reflects on the Ashes series and pays tribute to his retiring England colleague Michael Atherton. He looks ahead to his first winter away from the game for 21 years, which he hopes will be followed by a speedy return to England colours.

I have had to accept the ECB's decision to offer Test and one-day only contracts for the whole of the winter. While I had indicated that I was unavailable for the tour of India, I was very much available for the New Zealand leg of the tour in the early New Year. I'm very disappointed not to be going, but philosophical about the situation. I've had a clear-the-air meeting with the selectors, and my simple aim now is to return to the England side early next summer. In the recent past, Graham Gooch, Ian Botham and Graham Thorpe have all missed parts of a winter tour for various reasons (family or Christmas pantomime) but they have all returned to the England side the following summer.

I'm aware that I've now given someone else the chance to take my place. James Foster and Warren Hegg will both want to establish themselves in the England side. But the selectors have informed me at various times during the summer that they see me as part of the set-up until the end of the 2003 World Cup. I may be 38, but I put age to one side – if you're fit enough, you're good enough, and I believe I still am.

Looking back at the Ashes series, I think 4-1 was probably a fair reflection of the way the two teams played. We had one good day in the whole series – the final day at Headingley – and apart from that we were struggling to win the important sessions. Taking seven wickets at Trent Bridge in the first innings was one – other than that we were always trying to stay in the game. The gulf between the two sides is now apparent to everyone – the players and the public know just how good Australia are. We have a lot of work to do, but our goal must be eventually to catch them and overtake them. Not an easy task, but a huge challenge.

Mike Atherton has since announced that The Oval Test was his last for England. I've played more Tests with Athers than anyone else – we've both played 115, and made our 100th Test appearances in the same game last year. Mike is a very good friend of mine, and in my view he has been a great player for England over the years. He has the respect of both his teammates and the opposition. He'll be missed in the dressing room, and without him there's a huge hole to be filled.

Atherton - into retirement Photo CricInfo

It's well known that Athers has suffered degenerative back trouble for most of his career. What's less widely known is the bravery with which he's coped with it. At times he can hardly bend down to his knees, let alone his toes. Many people with such a condition would have packed up playing long ago. It's now reaching a point where he can't have any more cortisone injections to ease the pain.

Mike has played for England through good times and bad. He's batted against some of the best opening bowlers of recent times, including Courtney Walsh, Curtly Ambrose, Wasim Akram, Waqar Younis, Allan Donald, Shaun Pollock and Glenn McGrath, and it's a credit to him that he has finished with his head held high. It's sad to lose someone of his stature, but as he heads to pastures new we should be celebrating a great career.

As for me, I'll be keeping an eye on England over the next six months – it'll be my first winter at home since 1980, having toured for the last 12 years, eight of them as a father, The hard bit will be when the team heads off to New Zealand, but I'm looking forward to the Christmas build-up with the kids. In fact, for the first time in ages, I'll be leading a normal life and looking for winter employment!

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