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After early season disappointments, beaten by Rishton and the league heavyweights, Lowerhouse (several of their players definitely know what the inside of a chip shop looks like) we finally beat the weather, Colne and Church on the third weekend of the season.

Our professional Lloyd Ferreira, having a particularly good weekend by taking six wickets against the casuals (Colne) and 154no against Church.

Weekend 4. Away at Ramsbottom where the home team, at 48-6, looked down and out. There was however, a rumour that a figure, not dissimilar to Mick Everett (Rammy Team Manager) was seen in Red Indian garb doing a strange dance on the adjoining football field. Anyway, minutes later a monumentous deluge ensued and the play was abandoned.

Sunday saw us playing host to Haslingden in the Worsley Cup. A quite anomalous affair. Stuart Taylor, Haslingden's captain, strode purposefully onto the ground with sunglasses glinting, sun block protecting his balding pate and declared the ground unfit and that he would see me next week.

At this statement, the groundsman (not known as a shrinking violet) took exception. When challenged about a wet patch on the outfield and on how he planned to mop it up (by the Hassy vice captain Mark Griffin) he replied: ``Well I'll start by using your blazer'' to which Mark made a hasty retreat to the pavilion fearing a dry cleaning bill. Haslingden eventually won the tie on the proceeding Saturday. Weekend 5. After the defeat against Hassy, we had to regroup the following day and travel to play an in-form Burnley side On arrival at the ground young Dave Connolly informed me that my good mate, Ben Law, was not going to be playing. He had broken his wrist falling ``off the back of a lorry'' and was told that he might be out for some time. (Damn ... that's another two wickets lost this season).

Anyway, we bounced back and won the game. Meeting Ben afterwards in the bar, I wondered if his injury would affect his drinking habits. A little later and, to my own personal cost, I found this was not the case.

As for the dressing room, we are trying to bolster funds for the end of season trip by having a fiver bet every week. I was persuaded to let Woody pick first because one of the lads said he was a massive napper. Unfortunately, I thought it means he was a champion tipster. Instead I have subsequently realised he was referring to the size of his cranium.

Sealy has livened the dressing room up no end with his wondrous stories of life in general and his own personal brand of safe sex, which in itself is a wonderment.

Lloyd, the Pro is still having difficulties with our colloquialisms, especially the term used in a quest for quick runs (''the lads are going to have to swing fromt'ricker'') he just can't get the T in the right place. Anyway, it will be his turn for the naps soon. He thinks bet is something used to hit a cricket ball with. The latest total in the naps is £3.25 won from £30 staked - I hope there is a race meeting in Stacksteads?

So here's hoping for more wins and 'winnings' for the rest of the season.

Keith Roscoe