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England captain Nasser Hussain relives the rollercoaster ride that was his first Test in charge

When I arrived at Edgbaston last week for my first Test as England captain I was 31 years of age. Now I feel 51. I spoke last week, when I was appointed, of the ups and downs that I would be bound to experience in the course of the job but I was expecting them to come over a few months, not three days.

It is impossible to describe the range of emotions I have been through during this extraordinary match. The way to cope when things are not going your way and all seems lost, as it did when we were 40-odd for seven on Friday, is to be mentally strong and display as much self-belief as you can muster. Actually, the way we coped in this match was to keep on smiling because we knew with a pitch like this it would not take much for us to be back in the game.

There is such a thin line between success and failure. If Stephen Fleming had taken that catch off Andrew Caddick when he was on a low score I would be sitting here contemplating a losing start to my term of office. As it is, I've got a glass of champagne in my hand and every member of our team can look back with pride at what we have achieved as a unit in getting this all-important series off to a winning start. Winning is a habit and it is one we are determined to acquire.

The game was very much in the balance when we arrived at the ground yesterday morning. I called a huddle in the nets and I told the players that I would be saying a few words, then I would be handing over to Graham Gooch for him to say a few words because nobody knows more about batting in tight situations and responding to pressure than him.

I told the boys we had to carry on being positive, a message I first tried to put across when we were struggling during our first innings. I told them there was no point us pushing and prodding on a pitch like that because we would have ended up 50 or 60 all out. I told the batsmen that we had to stand up and be counted - little did I know that it would be our nightwatchman who produced a match-winning innings - and Goochie made basically the same point. The wicket still had a bit in it and I've got bruises all over my body where I was peppered, but we took the attack to the opposition and that's got to be the way forward in circumstances such as this.

I'm delighted for Alex Tudor. The one thing I have tried to emphasise in the short time I have been in charge is a concentration on skills practice. I've worked for hours in the nets with people like Gooch and it's been fantastic to see Alex doing the same. Practice is so much more important that all the talk that can go on around a Test match. My philosophy is that talk is cheap and I want to see all the players showing a bit more selfish discipline. Nobody else was able to put hard work in for Alex Tudor. He did it himself. I say, be a bit more selfish if it means that we will be better prepared for winning Test matches.

I had to make a tough decision in selecting Tudor and Caddick ahead of Dean Headley on the first morning of this game. Anyone who read this paper last week knows I have a tremendous amount of time for Dean and I wanted to give him every chance here. In the end it came down to a gut feeling to plump for Caddick and it has worked out very well. It was great to have the benefit of advice from some very respected people before my first toss. Ian Botham told me to go in with four fast bowlers and bowl first, while Gooch said I should bat. It had to be my decision but it was one I was undecided about until the moment I tossed the coin. I had just decided to bat when the clouds came over as I walked out with Stephen Fleming and I could see him looking up at the sky wondering what to do, like me. I was very relieved to see the coin come down heads and let him make the decision.

We now have excellent competition among the fast bowlers but one thing I would like to emphasise is that Darren Gough will play as soon as he is fit. You would never leave out your best bowler just as I would never leave out Graham Thorpe and it will be up to the other bowlers to stake their claims for places.

It is inevitable that there will be speculation over Alec Stewart's position after his disappointing match but I would just like to say it's been a very difficult couple of weeks for him and that opening the batting on that wicket was hard work. Alec has been the model professional during this game, helping all the other batsmen with throw-downs and such like, and I have no doubt he will fight back. He is strong enough to do just that.

One pleasant task I have this week is to have dinner with Duncan Fletcher, when Essex take on Glamorgan, to go over a few things. Duncan sent us a fax wishing us all the best before the game and I am looking forward to having my first real chat with him. For now, let us enjoy this moment and then get ready for Lord's.