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Let me at least start on a cheerful note: Michael Atherton is back for England. So we have at least one batsman of determination and resolution whose wicket New Zealand will probably have to purchase well above the going rate. As for the rest of the batting, excluding the captain, after their performances at Lord's the whole bunch should count themselves lucky to be given another chance.

Looking back over 60 years or more, I cannot recall a more abject exhibition of batting than England have shown, Alex Tudor's effort apart, at Edgbaston and Lord's. The second innings of the second Test, when England had a perfect chance to atone for previous failures on a good pitch against committed, persevering opponents, was a disgrace. I never left Lord's in lower spirits.

Barring much more satisfactory performances at Old Trafford and the Oval, I cannot think that the England and Wales Cricket Board would be wise to offer England contracts to the bulk of the 14 chosen for tomorrow.

One over-worked excuse is surely invalid - ``with all this one-day cricket he just played a one-day shot''. If a batsman has not the wit to adjust his technique to the version of the game he is engaged in he is not Test calibre. The batsmen of other countries, where there is more one-day international cricket than here, seem to vary their method successfully.

As to the return for the eighth time of Graeme Hick, the charitable explanation, I suppose, is that the selectors, seeking a cover for Nasser Hussain, preferred a seasoned performer rather than an unfledged one, if Hussain stands down. I seem to remember, by the way, that Bob Wyatt played four Tests against Australia with a guard protecting a fractured thumb.

As the selectors have again not named a batting and bowling all-rounder, I would suggest that the strongest side from the 14 would contain six batsmen with Alec Stewart at No 5 or No 6 keeping wicket, both spinners and three out of the four faster bowlers. They have seen the young wicketkeeper Christopher Read and evaluated him with the South African tour in mind.

On the eve of the third Test, David Lloyd in these pages on Monday condemned the ``boorish antics and mindless, inane chatter, every delivery'' of one young side playing at an otherwise admirable week of boys' cricket at Ampleforth under the care of that great coach, Don Wilson.

I underline Lloyd's strong criticism, especially because there were apparently wordy exchanges between the sides at the Lord's Test. It is sad if the besetting sin of Australian cricket has crossed the Tasman Sea. It ill becomes the country of Tom Lowry, Walter Hadlee, John Reid and John Wright to fall from grace. I do not know which of the two sides were the chief aggressors and, with due respect, would only urge the referee, Pieter van der Merwe, the old South African captain who is officiating also at Old Trafford, to take, if necessary, the sternest measures in collaboration, of course, with the umpires.

I also hope that others of the current cricket writers may think twice before making only sniggering references to sledging without condemning it. I am so glad David Lloyd has underlined the fact that boys, unless firmly handled by their masters and coaches, will copy what they read and see on television. I will never forget what Christopher Cowdrey told me on his return from playing Grade cricket in Sydney years ago: ``If you don't sledge they think you aren't trying.''

Turning to a more congenial subject, the 158th Canterbury Week opens this morning with Essex providing Kent's opposition. With the advent of four-day cricket the week, which has taken place since 1842, is now condensed into one championship match followed by a one-day Sunday match, now in the National League, five days in all. The contraction is a pity, but the festal spirit remains strong. Tomorrow, which is Ladies' Day, there will be 18 marquees or tents in use, from the mayor of Canterbury's at square leg on the Old Dover Road side to the president's, next to the sightscreen. He is the Cambridge and Kent batsman of the 1950s, John Pretlove. Bands will play at the intervals on three days, and on the others children will have their impromptu games with or without parents, softball only. The Cowdrey, Woolley and Ames stands should be well populated, and likewise the ring seats. On Sunday morning, before the match begins at 1.30 pm, there will be coaching classes for all ages on the outfield. Believe me, cricket thrives in Kent at every level.

The impact on county fortunes of the two-division championship and National League will be felt with increasing intensity for better or worse, for richer for poorer, from now until the season's end on Sunday, Sept 19. Eighteen county matches will clash with tomorrow's Test and the last at the Oval on Aug 19. Most counties have five more championship fixtures to play, and either eight or nine one-dayers, so for most sides it is ``all to play for.'' As of today, four counties, Leicestershire, Hampshire, Kent and Yorkshire, are in the top half of the championship and also in Division One of the league.

Few grounds are as rich in history as Trent Bridge, where 100 years ago England first played: it was W G Grace's last Test (he was nearly 52) and the first of Wilfred Rhodes and C B Fry. The ground had been built long before by William Clarke, founder of the first All-England XI, when he prudently married the owner of the adjacent Trent Bridge Inn. Cover Point have marked the occasion with a video portraying greats who have done great deeds there - Bradman, Sobers, Larwood, McCabe and Tendulkar for instance. Chris Broad is the presenter, and it can only be obtained (for L14.99, plus postage) either from Notts CCC or Cover Point (0181 674 2835).