In my current mood, I must admit I have been as much use as an ashtray on a motor bike but I tell her there is a limit to how much I can do when I am here on the other side of the world. At each of the hotels we have stayed I have felt like an S A S soldier doing reconnaissance, checking for facilities available to the children such as swimming pools, local adventure playgrounds and cafes, which needless to say are excellent everywhere we go.
``Do I need this, do I need that'', are the inevitable questions, to which the easiest reply is: ``Well if you need it we'll buy it here.'' My credit card has already taken some stick and the next month looks like being expensive.
My only requirement, well nearly only, was she brought over my cricket coffin from this summer and last winter's tour of the West Indies. Like Messrs Atherton, Stewart, Ramprakash and Butcher, I will return to one that brings back happier memories as the current one doesn't seem to be bringing me a great deal of fortune. Not that I'm superstitious, of course.
This is my fourth visit to these shore and still one of the first things that strikes you when you land in Australia is how different the attitude of it's people are. In their national anthem, Advance Australia Fair, they sing about being young and free and to be fair that is the attitude that comes across to me. Each time I come here it always hits me how uninhibited, generally polite (except at cricket matches) and fresh the people are. They are confident and proud of their achievements, particularly in the world of sport which is a vehicle they use to promote the profile of their country.
Their sportsmen or women are treated like superstars and generally receive unflagging support from their media. Even this week's controversies surrounding Mark Waugh and Shane Warne have received some sympathetic coverage. Somehow, I can't imagine our British press being quite as understanding. I must say seeing the Australians have their halo dented has caused a few chuckles in our dressing room. Overall, though, you get the feeling that if you work hard here and want success there are very few obstacles to stop you reaching your goals.
Another thing you are immediately aware of is space. Australia is a vast country and flying from Brisbane to Perth you travel the little matter of 4,500 kilometres, the equivalent of travelling from London to the Middle East, at least a five-hour flight.
Western Australia is the state we have spent most of our time in so far. The locals tend to treat Perth as some sort of Utopia, the place where everyone should want to live. Indeed, it is a beautifully clean city, a perfect place to bring up a young family. It seems to be a relatively cheap place to live with a high standard of living and full of wonderful views along the Swan River. There are golden beaches and spotless parks full of manufactured gardens, ponds and fountains, but to me it is all a bit cosmetic, maybe slightly boring and characterless.
In our travels we have also had the pleasure of visiting Queensland, the sunshine coast, where thankfully it rains rather heavily every now and then. Brisbane is a busy city seemingly full of life and money (Japanese) and Cairns a tropical town which in places reminds you of Georgetown, Guyana, in the way the streets are laid out and the houses are on stilts. If it wasn't for the Great Barrier Reef, though, I could not imagine living there - unless, of course, you wanted some free cosmetic surgery - as it is so hot and humid.
Our brief visit to Melbourne even allowed me to get in a game of cricket. Rattling around the M C G in front of two men and a dog it seems hard to believe there will be over 75,000 in there on Boxing Day for what is scheduled to be Shane Warne's eagerly awaited comeback Test.
So here we are back in Adelaide, my second favourite city in Australia after Sydney, sadly a place where we spend precious little time on this tour. The Adelaide Oval is a magnificent place to play cricket. It just has a lovely feel to it, even if it is considered to be a bowler's graveyard. Friday's play did nothing to change that view as temperatures comfortably passed 42C (110F).
Bowling in this heat is unbelievably debilitating and the sights in our dressing room at the close of play weren't pretty as the bowlers cramped up. Nor does looking at the honours board in the dressing room give you much encouragement as it tells you virtually twice as many hundreds are scored here than five-wicket hauls taken. On days like Friday, you can understand why.
The city has a similar feel to it as the ground, being beautifully laid out and containing some wonderful restaurants with magnificent wine lists. They say where there is good wine, there is good food and as I haven't got the opportunity to get on that honours board, I may just make sure my family and I enjoy the other pleasures Adelaide has to offer.