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Goofer of the Day
Goofer of the Day: Shane Warne
CarloMarx - 06 April 2001

He swaggers onto the field with the smell of tobacco fresh on his breath. He leaves obscene messages on other peoples' answering machines. He makes a fuss about food wherever he goes, carrying with him his own special supply of baked beans. And yes, crates of Fosters beer to go with the beans. And after all that, he just can't seem to bowl to Indian batsmen on the subcontinent. The deciding fifth One-Dayer between India and Australia at the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium in Goa threw up yet another goofer, Shane Kenneth Warne.

When he first made the international scene, Shane Warne got clobbered to all parts of the park, finishing with figures of one for 150. Ravi Shastri, known for his dour style of batting, made a double hundred in the game. Promptly Warne declared that Shastri was the hardest hitting batsman he had come up against. Since then, a lot has passed. The Queensland leggie has worked miracles out in the middle, bowling deliveries like the one that got Graham Gooch every now and then.

Somehow, the magic doesn't seem to work on Indian soil. When Australia came to India in 1998, Warne was ineffective. His bowling average on Indian soil was in the mid-fifties. On this tour however, the Australians arrived as World champions. There was enough and more bluster and bravado, with Warne being one of the key players. "I want to set the record straight, I want to prove that I can bowl well in all conditions," said Warne.

As the tour progressed, Warne achieved one thing - to better the batting averages of several Indian cricketers. When VVS Laxman put Warne's bowling on the table and dissected it for all to see at Kolkata, the leggie simply fell apart. When the ball was tossed up, it disappeared back over Warne's head. When he bowled flat, the arc from mid on to covers was peppered. In typical fashion, Warne responded by attempting to thud in bouncers. Frustration creeping in, said some journalists in the press box, "childishness" said a former cricketer who played Warne without any trouble.

In this Test series Warne was again taken to the cleaners. But today was not about Test cricket. It was about the fast paced high adrenaline action of limited overs cricket. No time to buy wickets, no time to set an elaborate strategy. You have to get into the groove right away. If the batsmen are in an attacking frame of mind, the very least you can do is bowl a tight line and length and restrict the flow of runs.

The first four overs Warne bowled today cost a total of 39 runs. All this after Sachin Tendulkar had been sent back to the pavilion early. Sourav Ganguly, coming off an extremely lean patch, tucked into Warne's juicy offerings with relish. Coming down the track on more than one occasion, the Indian skipper lofted Warne effortlessly over the ropes. Coming back for a second spell late in the innings when quick wickets had fallen, Warne managed to restore some damaged pride by bowling four overs for 23 runs.

At the end of the day however, figures of 8-0-62-0 aren't those of a great bowler. And Warne's manner certainly wasn't that of a great bowler. Hissing and chatting down the wicket every time the ball beat the bat. Stretching the definitions of chirping to the extreme, Warne glared down the wicket even when he was smacked back over his head for a boundary!

Theatrics are all very well Mr. Warne. When you're done with them, take a deep breath and look at your bowling figures.

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