Of all people to show a little pre-Christmas charity, Mark Taylor was chiefly responsible for saving England from further derision. Not only did he lose the toss, which on a pitch with increasingly unstable cracks gave England a useful advantage, but he also came on to bowl the final over for the ambitious young team he was captaining.
Bowling slow round-arm lobs similar to the ones purveyed by W G Grace in his declining years, Taylor conceded 16 runs, 12 of them in sixes to Angus Fraser. It proved to be the final margin of victory.
All this, and Father Christmas taking out the drinks, was untypical of the match generally. It was played seriously and looked at one point like developing into a major embarrassment for England. After seven overs, they were 26 for four.
Matthew Nicholson, who again looked a future Test bowler, and the strong Mark Harrity, had two wickets apiece, Mark Butcher going to a wonderful diving right-handed catch by Corey Richards at midwicket off a firm clip to the sixth ball of the match. Ben Hollioake, Graeme Hick and John Crawley, all in need of runs, failed to make them.
Alec Stewart, who opened and batted 17 overs, Nasser Hussain, who once again played with cool responsibility, and Warren Hegg, perhaps unwisely left out of the squad for the one-day internationals in the new year, combined to put together a defendable total on this not entirely reliable pitch and slow outfield. Hegg hit only one four but his 44 off 88 balls was a valuable innings by an intelligent cricketer and good team man.
It was a sunny day and the crowd of 10,000, the biggest since these Prime Minister's matches became part of every major tour 15 years ago, enjoyed themselves even though John Howard himself had to leave halfway through because of political events in Iraq.
Once England had also taken early wickets - Alan Mullally getting one in each of his first two overs and coming back twice later to keep matters in order - they always looked like winning, although a fine piece of shrewd attacking batting by Rodney Marsh's 25-year-old son, Daniel (right-handed though he bowls left), was just beginning to look seriously dangerous when he sliced a drive to extra cover off Hick.
Dominic Cork, fit again, bowled a good spell, much of it at Taylor, who came in at No 6 and spent 14 overs making 25 before turning Cork to midwicket. What was most pleasing about England's performance was that they fielded well on the ground and held every catch; in Butcher's case that meant four, two at extra cover, one at midwicket and the first at first slip.
There were some fine young batsmen wanting to do well so this is not a success to be devalued, but it is immediately to be followed by a much more important game, against Australia's second XI in Hobart, starting tomorrow. Darren Lehmann, eager to win back his Test place, leads a side of which one of the selectors, Allan Border, said: ``All of them could play a Test next week if necessary.''
It will be an extremely demanding match for England, although their priority has to be the back-to-back Tests in Melbourne and Sydney. For this reason, neither Mullally nor Darren Gough and Dean Headley are likely to play. Alex Tudor, sure to return at Melbourne, will share the new ball with either Cork or Fraser, neither of whom can be ruled out for the Melbourne Test.
In view of Sydney, there is a case for playing both the off-spinners but Robert Croft, like Peter Such before him, may have to keep in trim in the nets if only to make an extra place for a batsman.
I have not changed my view that Stewart should bat at six and keep wicket in the last two Tests but he may want to open in Hobart and give Hegg a chance to make a case for himself at seven. Sadly, no one else has, although, for all his frailties and thoroughly unconvincing form, logic says that Crawley is more likely to play a major Test innings than Hegg.
Australian XI: M T G Elliott, C J Richards, G S Blewett, D S Lehmann, S G Law, M G Bevan, -A C Gilchrist, P R Reiffel, B P Julian, M S Kasprowicz, G R Robertson.
England (from): *A J Stewart, M A Atherton, M A Butcher, N Hussain, M R Ramprakash, G A Hick, -W K Hegg, D G Cork, A J Tudor, A R C Fraser, P M Such, J P Crawley.